English is overrated - there, I said it. Not only does it have inexplicably bizarre spelling system (yacht, knight, ought and, my all-time favorite, queue), but its hubris knows no bounds. English is a required subject in schools across the globe, is the speech of science, the vernacular of the Internet and—despite his Italian roots and Japanese origins—the default language of a particular mustachioed plumber.
Universal Pictures and Illumination Studio’s upcoming high-profile Super Mario Bros. Movie has been the subject of scrutinizing debate since the cast of voice actors was first announced. Fans were whipped into even more of a frenzy once the trailers started dropping, myself included. "How beautiful," I thought. "How far technology has come," I said (like an old man). Only seconds later though, and my brow furrowed. Why does Mario sound like a mid-western American?
Chris Pratt’s mediocre approach has always rubbed me the wrong way. At first glance, it seems like his vocal delivery is a 1 to 1 copy-and-paste from his role in The Lego Movie, which was an unprecedented film that I enjoyed and have zero notes on. However, if you're going to step into these goomba-stomping shoes, a little effort would be nice. Better men before Pratt have done a much better job at giving a voice to this classic character.
When I think about an ideal Mario “voice”, my opinion is severely biased due to early 90s efforts, including The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! and the 1993 film, Super Mario Bros. Both versions depict a gruff Italian Brooklynite who’d sound more at home spouting phrases like, “Eey, fuggidaboutit” in a gangster film instead of emitting a high-pitched “wa-HOO!” while kicking turtle shells.
For years, Bob Hoskins was my Mario paradigm, until he was usurped by Charles Martinet’s now-seminal portrayal in Super Mario 64, changing everything. Despite being born in France and raised in Spain, Martinet perfectly captured Mario’s Italian intonation without going full “wise-guy”. It’s English, sure, but barely. It’s a fun broken brogue playfully aimed at English-speaking audiences while keeping dialogue to a minimum. Let’s take this idea further, shall we?
Imagine having a conversation with Mario after hours at the Mushroom Kingdom Club. Would it be entirely in English? Doubt it. His handful of catchphrases alone indicate that his grasp of the language isn’t extensive. It’d probably be in his native tongue. Now, going deeper, how about an entire full length movie featuring Mario speaking only Italian? Or maybe Spanish? German? Or, as Nintendo will be paying close attention to the localization, perhaps even Japanese? This isn't a hypothetical scenario.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie is such a pop culture lightning rod that even trailers in multiple languages have gained millions upon millions of views. The majority of these trailers have been uploaded by legitimate media outlets of the representative nations, but a few of them have been repurposed and compiled by Native English-speaking YouTubers. Oddly enough, the response has been overwhelmingly positive.
These compilations compare the English original with at least 3 or 4 different dubs, most notably French, Spanish, German and Japanese, while the majority of comments are in English. It’s interesting to see the responses on which dubs sound more preferable to the original.
In some, Princess Peach sounds like an ice-cold French badass, in others Bowser takes on the nuance of a classic Japanese villain, but I paid the closest attention to the many shades of Mario. In almost all cases, I preferred every alternative to the English version, which is wild considering my history with translation.
It’s the classic struggle I have pertaining to any TV show or movie meant to enter foreign markets: dub vs. subs. On one hand, does it really make sense for a studio to hire an entirely new cast of voice actors to filter the original script through another language? Conversely, there is merit in creating a more personable vehicle by which to entertain the recipient. Needless to say, it can be a tricky situation.
For example, my first exposure to the beloved anime, Cowboy Bebop, was in English, which forever shaped my view of the characters and how I thought they should sound. Years later, when I dared re-watch the show in the original Japanese, it was somewhat surreal hearing different tones and cadences. A bias had already formed, and, because it was woven tightly with nostalgia, my feelings on the matter were impenetrable. Yet with the case of Super Mario Bros., perhaps there’s still a chance to explore the possibilities beyond the borders of English.
Thankfully, that option is very much a reality for me due to the fact that most animated films in Warsaw are dubbed in Polish. Following suit, Poland released its own Mario trailers, This may be the only time in my life that I opt for the melodious Slavic language over the familiar sounds of English. It may seem like a radical change, but, to my ears, Mario already sounds a little more like…Mario.
True, I may not understand what’s being said half the time, but with so many hours of this franchise under my belt, plot and dialogue are non-issues to me. That being said, I heartily invite you to join me on this journey into the alternative. At the very least you’ll come out with some exposure to a foreign language. ¡Vamos, amigos!